Attention parents, there is something I feel I need to clear up; the truth about self-care.
Self-care is trending and it’s usually seen as luxury, abundance, saying YES to all the tasty, pretty, easy things and slow living in a cottage far far far away (okay, the cottage part of my dream).
Yet the more I have researched, grown and lived on this big planet, the more I realize that this is not exactly the case.
The truth about self-care is that isn’t pretty and easy, yet it is hard side where most transformations happen.
Here are some hard truths to self-care that parents need to know.
1. Self-Care is exercise
Self-care is training when you don’t feel like, being consistent and sweating into your eyeballs making them burn. Exercise is a no brainer; parents need it. It lowers our cortisol levels; it gives us the happy hormones and keeps our body working in tiptop shape. Our kids want us to play with them, keep up with them and enjoy their life so part of that means we got to keep our body working as best as it can be. Remember, no one really wants to go train every day or even 5 days a week… but we ALL feel better once it’s done! I don’t hear any mum or dad saying, “oh man this healthy body I have now is just the WORST!”
2. Self Care is uncomfortable
Self-care is getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. It can mean saying no more when everyone expects you to say yes. You might need to let go of friendships to those who have become toxic and no longer serve a positive purpose in your life. If you want more time to yourself to just be and get ready in peace, then you may need to adopt the 5am rule (this isn’t easy even for myself as an early riser!) Self-care isn’t just about the massages, manicures and coffees in cozy coffee shops, because when you start this journey to pour back into your cup, it requires you to reflect and make some uncomfortable changes that will only improve your life now and long term.
3. Self-care is limiting screen time (yes for you parents)
Self-care can be watching your fav show, Netflix and chill, binge watching The Walking Dead. It can be about switching off from the world and just be a couch potato with your hubby and eat a block of chocolate.
BUT too much of that starts to become toxic, a distraction and an aid to help alleviate anxiety and feelings of overwhelm. It becomes a band aid instead of helping address our stuff. Because when you come up for air, you have the have the rest of parent life waiting at your feet and then some!
This rule isn’t just for our kiddos. When we limit our screen time and stop drowning out the sound of what life is calling us to do, we start to become comfortable with our own thoughts and find that we have way more time to get things done than we realize. We can enjoy our shows without becoming dependent on them for relief. Screen time limiting (which includes our phone) is also proven to reduce anxiety and the need for constant gratification which our feeds, messages and notifications give us. When you’re not attached to the device it helps you become more present which is part about practicing the art of self-care
Self-care is being vulnerable.
Vulnerability is icky and scary and not a place where you can just chill. Vulnerability however, is so important in our journey of self-care and helps us show up for our kids. Part of self-care is healing what needs to be healed and facing the truth of things.
Personally, for me, I’m on that journey where I am now working through my past traumas and letting my guard down. I’m no longer being super woman whose totally fine. Instead I am a woman who accepts the hard stuff I’ve been through, acknowledging it and sitting with it. And this shit is hard! But you’ve got to go through vulnerability to be transformed. To come out the other side is just incredible. You have more compassion for yourself instead of judgement, you can show more empathy and connect more with others. Self-care is to get vulnerable and face yourself no matter how painful or scary it is. It’s not easy but man it’s so worth it!
For context, please check out Brene Browns work on vulnerability. I learn so much for her and she explains this so beautifully!
Self-Care isn’t easy but doing these hard things, provides long term gains in our journey. It’s doing the things that your future self will thank you for.
Apologies if this sounds like a downer blog, I promise you that wasn’t my intention. The truth about self-care is that it’s just not all that pretty and that needs to be acknowledged. If we want real change in our lives, more time and a better mind, body and spirit; then we’ve got to work at it!
You got this!
If you’re looking for more guidance in your self-care journey, you’re not alone. Here are some options:
- You can sign up to my mailing list (receive a self-care bundle for you and the family)
- check out my instagram page
- have a look our services for a creative approach.
In love and light
Amy
